What should she do?
My mother and father divorced, and each have remarried. My step-mother is interested in converting to Catholicism. My father will not have his marriage with my mother annulled - as he thinks this would compromise his children in some way.
My step-mother was discouraged when she checked into converting, because she was under the impression that the only way she could is if my father agreed to have his 1st marriage annulled.
I believe this information is incorrect. I believe she can convert to Catholicism; but the church wouldn't recognize her marriage to my father. Is this correct? She wants to go to church as a family, and take communion as a family; its important to both her and my father - but instead of being encouraged and assisted with the process - she's felt as if there was no way.
Needing Clarification....
Your question is an excellent one,?especially considering how complicated the issues surrounding annulments can?get.
First of all, declaring a marriage null, does not--in any way--affect the legitimacy of any children born to that union.? As Catholics, we believe that every child is created in the image and likeness of God--and there's no way to illegitimize that.
?Second, it sounds as if you are okay with your parents moving forward with an annulment.? If that is the case, and your siblings are, too, maybe sharing this information with your father would encourage him to feel more positively about proceeding.
The fact that your stepmother is married to someone (your father) who is still sacramentally bound to another person actually does affect her "freedom" to convert to Catholicism for that very reason.? In the same way, two Catholics in?a second marriage (when a first marriage has not been declared null) are prevented from receiving sacraments until that first situation is resolved.? So the same holds true for someone wanting to become Catholic.
So many myths exist regarding annulments, what they mean and how they are granted.?Encourage your father to speak directly to a priest, deacon?or another person who has been trained as an annulment sponsor to ensure that he gets some good and accurate answers to his questions and concerns.
Hopefully, with your encouragement (and perhaps that of your siblings, too) your father will be more open to proceeding with this and thereby "opening up the door" for your stepmother to look in to becoming Catholic herself.
?If this happens, your stepmother could join the RCIA program and begin her catechesis while your father begins the process of declaring his first marriage null.? (Note:?if your stepmother has any previous marriages, those, too, must be declared null, unless they ended in the death of her previous spouse.)
Here at St. Paul's we have several individuals trained as annulment sponsors--including myself--who would be willing to walk your father through the process and support him along the way, too.? Other parishes--but not all--offer this assistance, too.? Your father and stepmother should feel free to make an appointment with a sponsor and/or the coordinator of RCIA to find out more information about the best way to proceed.
Blessings to you and your family,
Heidi Clark
Director of Adult Ministry
Thanks Heidi! Good to hear from you. I've passed the informaton along and now can only hope that they'll look into it. The ironic thing is that my mom and her new husband were able to get married, by a priest in the church - and he somehow circumvented the whole anullment process....
Take Care,
Stacey